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Are You Actually Relationship Ready?

By: Chantal Landreville, Certified Love & Relationship Coach and author of Raise Your Love Signal: A Guide to Attracting and Keeping the Love of Your Life

We’ve all heard it; friends declaring, “I’m so ready for love and to be in a relationship,” or maybe it’s something you’ve told yourself lately. But I got news for you: wanting love and being relationship ready are two very different things.
And trust me, this isn’t about shaming anyone it’s about bringing some much-needed clarity to one of the most misunderstood parts of modern dating and relationships. I see it every day in my work as a Love & Relationship Coach.

People frustrated with the dating scene, exhausted by failed connections, confused about why things just don’t seem to “work out.” But when we dig deeper, it’s rarely about luck or timing. It’s about readiness. And more specifically, alignment.

The Love Triangle You’ve Probably Never Considered

Let me introduce a concept I’ve come to call the Triangle of Love Readiness. It’s not the messy love triangle we see in movies it’s a self-awareness tool designed to help you reflect on three crucial areas:

What you think you want
What you attract
What’s actually right for you

When these three aren’t aligned, love feels elusive. You might think you want a committed, emotionally available partner but you keep attracting people who aren’t ready or willing to meet you there. Or maybe what you think you want is based on old beliefs, societal pressures, or fear of being alone, rather than what truly nourishes you.
It’s a gap most of us aren’t even aware of but one that can quietly sabotage our chances of building healthy, fulfilling relationships.

The Canadian Love Gap: Why So Many of Us Aren’t Actually Ready

This conversation isn’t just personal it’s cultural, too. In Canada, we pride ourselves on being progressive and open when it comes to love and relationships. But are we truly equipped for the kind of emotional connection many of us crave?

Let’s look at the numbers.
A 2023 survey from the Angus Reid Institute found that one in three Canadian adults describe themselves as lonely, with the highest rates among younger adults and those living alone.
Another national study revealed that over 40% of Canadians struggle to form and maintain meaningful connections, even when actively dating or in relationships.
These stats aren’t just about loneliness they reveal a deeper issue around emotional availability, self-awareness, and readiness.

Many Canadians like people everywhere want connection. But few of us have been taught how to prepare for it, beyond the surface-level dating apps and romantic ideals. And with modern dating flooded by ghosting, situationships, and unspoken expectations, it’s no wonder people feel discouraged or stuck. But here’s the good news: Readiness isn’t about being flawless or having it all figured out. It’s about doing the inner work to close the gap between what you want, what you attract, and what’s truly right for you

Three Practical Steps to Get Relationship Ready, For Real!

So how do you know if you’re actually ready for love and more importantly, how do you become ready? Here are three steps anyone can take, no matter where they’re starting from:

1. Get Honest About Your Patterns
Take stock of your past relationships, situationships, or even the people you tend to feel drawn to. Do you notice themes? Are you consistently attracted to unavailable partners? Do you sabotage connections when they get too close?
Self-awareness is step one. Without it, your Love Triangle stays misaligned and so does your love life.

2. Challenge Your “List”
Many of us walk around with a mental checklist of what we think we want in a partner. But have you stopped to ask where that list comes from? Is it based on your values and emotional needs or outdated expectations, fear, or even social media comparisons?
Being relationship ready means your desires are grounded in reality, not fantasy.

3. Focus on Receiving, Not Just Giving
A surprising number of people are excellent at giving love but struggle to truly receive it.
Whether it’s compliments, affection, support, or commitment, being relationship ready means your heart and your nervous system can tolerate the vulnerability of being loved.
If the thought of being fully seen, supported, or adored makes you uneasy, you’re not broken.
But it’s a sign there’s work to do work that empowers you to create the kind of relationship you actually deserve.

Final Thoughts: Love Follows Readiness
The next time you catch yourself or someone else saying, “I’m ready for love,” pause for a moment and ask:

Am I clear on what I want?
Are my patterns supporting or sabotaging that?
And most importantly… am I prepared to receive real love, not just chase the idea of it?

When your Love Triangle aligns, the search for love feels less exhausting and more natural.
Because at the end of the day, love isn’t about luck.
It’s about alignment.
And alignment starts with you.

ABOUT:

Chantal Landreville is an author, Speaker and a Toronto-based certified Love and Relationship Coach with over two decades of experience in personal growth and human connection. In her quest to challenge the “Disney-fied” notions of love we’ve all been fed; Chantal introduces the true reality of what love really means. She is here to disrupt the myths and fairy tales, guiding people toward understanding that real love is about creating genuine, lasting connections built on mutual respect, emotional safety, and shared growth. Her mission is to help individuals discover the path to authentic and lasting love and she is dedicated to empowering her readers with the knowledge and tools needed to create healthy, fulfilling relationships.
Raiseyourlovesignal.com | IG: @chantal.landreville