By Author Chantal Landreville: Certified Love & Relationship Coach and author of Raise Your Love Signal: A Guide to Attracting and Keeping the Love of Your Life
Online Dating is probably something men and women struggle with equally. Having been through it myself, I know dating isn’t easy, considering the emotional rollercoaster it can take us on… the highs, the lows, the lies, the disappointments, the weirdoes, etc.
However, dating is part of the process to finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. Online or not, it’s also one way you can put into practice everything you have learned through your past failed experiences, as a way to hopefully avoid repeating the same mistakes.
If you want online dating to be more fun – instead of it feeling like a chore – you need to change your attitude and perception on how you go about it. I would say that 90% of the people I interact with on a daily basis have a negative outlook on online dating. If you are already going into it skeptically, how do you expect to attract any positive outcomes? To get the best experience you can from this process, you need to go into it with a positive frame of mind.
So, yes, online dating can be frustrating, and yes, it is a lot of work. But you are looking for a life partner, not a roommate. Your person won’t randomly show up at your door one day saying, “Hi, I’m your Mr. or Mrs. Right!” You need to bite the bullet and go through the process, however frustrating it may seem.
If you desire love and want a relationship for the right reasons, you need to put in the work, and the effort.
That all said, there are some steps you can follow to set yourself up for success instead of failure when online dating. Let’s get into it.
Invest in your dating profile. I’m always amazed to see how people put themselves online without taking proper attention to set up an intentional profile.
You are who you attract, so how you represent yourself matters. This includes everything from how you describe yourself, express what you are looking for, and how you present yourself in your pictures.
Here are the steps I suggests you take:
#1-Before even creating your profile ask yourself this question:
“Am I even clear on what I want and need or what I am looking for?”
And not just from a partner’s perspective, but also on what you are looking or from a relationship. If you are not clear on what you want and need from those two areas, your online dating journey will be much more challenging and frustrating. Having clarity will help you attract higher quality matches, avoid wasting your time and experiencing online dating burnout.
#2- Choose Your Photos Wisely
Your photos are the first thing potential matches will see, so make sure they accurately represent you. Do not use pictures that do not show who you are today! Include a full body shot, a close-up of your face, a photo of you in your natural element, and a picture of you dressed up. It’ important to showcase different aspects of your personality and interests, so include photos that highlight your hobbies and interests, whether it’s sports, dancing, or cooking.
#3-Craft a Compelling Bio
Your bio is your chance to tell potential matches more about yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner. Keep it precise and engaging. Focus on highlighting your personality, interests, and values. Be honest, stay away from negativity or listing what you do not want.
#4-Stay True to Yourself
Authenticity is key when it comes to online dating. Be genuine and true to yourself in your profile. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Remember, you want to attract someone who enjoys you for who you truly are.
#5-Screen your matches properly
Filtering allows you to weed out incompatible, or sketchy people, saving you from unpleasant, disappointing encounters.
Also, it’s super important not to get stuck in a never-ending text chat when you’re dating online. Sure, messaging is a good way to start, but if you’re texting back and forth for weeks, things can escalate in your imagination for nothing or simply get muddy. That’s why I always suggest having a phone call or, even better, a video chat before meeting in person. This will give you a sneak peek into their personality and vibe, helping you figure out if you’re on the same page and if it’s actually worth your time to meet in person.
Your time is valuable. The better you become at screening, the better your online dating experience will be.
#6-Go into online dating with no expectations
This is probably the number one cause of discouragement or frustrations. We enter the dating scene with thoughts like, “Could this be the one?” or “this might be it!” versus having a lighthearted attitude and being playful. Focus on enjoying the process rather than fixating on specific outcomes.
#7-Allow yourself to have fun
Dating should be exactly that… FUN. It’s a great way for you to play, to do activities you love to do. Get creative. You don’t need to make a date about having dinner or coffee. If you are into sports, why not plan a bike ride, or a walk? Do things that interest you. It’s also a great way to see how the person you are dating will react to the idea or be in these situations.
If you would like more help or guidance with your online dating journey, watch this extended video I created on Instagram
Or Book a 30 minutes session with me to help you create your online dating profile.
ABOUT:
Chantal Landreville is a Toronto-based certified love and relationship with over two decades of experience in personal growth and human connection. Her mission is to help individuals discover the path to authentic and lasting love and is dedicated to empowering her readers with the knowledge and tools needed to create healthy, fulfilling relationships. Chantal’s work is renowned for its emphasis on personal development, self-acceptance, and effective communication. She is an advocate for love as a transformative force in people’s lives.
